Parody of Christopher Cross's "Sailing"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Sample/Download from the Mad Music Archive
Request it on the Dr. Demento Show!

[Sensitive-guy double-neck guitar intro]

Well you're not so bad for a skinny girl
At least you're not fugly
But if the wind is right you could blow away
May I speak candidly?
Oh, enhancements can do miracles
Chest you wait and see
Believe me

It's not far from Audrey to Marilyn
Two sandwich bags and then
What was an empty leash will be brandishin'
A pair of man's best friends
Oh, implantses can do miracles
Just inflate and see
They're dreamy

Takes you from 'A'
To thirty-four or
Thirty-six 'D'
You can win us over pneumatically
La Leche League and me

Bounces reality
When there's saline
I'll pitch in for the surgery
Make you over extrem-ely
Won't you appease me?

Makes it okay
To wear your flouncy
Baby doll tee
Just a dream: You're Pamela Anderson
And I'm your Tommy Lee

Well it's not like lust or lechery
I'll claim unblinkingly
But if the work's done right you could bust my brain
Decolletage, mais oui
Oh, enhancements can do miracles
Viva la cleavage

Takes you from 'A'
To thirty-six or
Thirty-eight 'D'
We'll just hang two bulbular ornaments
On your Christmas tree

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