Image: Kristof Robertson

Parody of Michael Jackson's "Thriller"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Sample/Download from the Mad Music Archive

It's close to midnight
There's Pretty Young Things in the amusement park
I kill the floodlights
To get their butts inside out of the dark
They start to scream
I'm such a saint I'll send someone to save them
Oh what a dream
My guards bring back an underage surprise
He's just my size

It's pedophilia!
Here tonight
The Way You Make Me Feel will earn some gifts from Daddy Mike
It's pedophilia!
Real delight
So drink your Jesus Juice and let me
Thrill ya!
Feel ya!

Why are you sulkin'?
Big boys are brave and look how much you've grown
Macauley Culkin
Spent many nights here in my Home Alone
So dry your eyes
And hope I Wanna NOT Be Startin' Somethin'
What will arise?
I'll whisper "Beat It" - that's my favorite song
There's nothing wrong

With pedophilia!
We'll survive
Why else would Mama ditch you with a freak who's 45?
Will ya
Kill the lights?
'Cause I Just Can't Stop Loving You, I'll
Thrill ya!
Feel ya!
Grill ya!
Drill ya!
Here tonight!

Darkness falls in Neverland
The big hand's on the little hand
Screw the hyperbaric suite
It's time for adolescent meat

He'll share some stuff he found online
And change some Pepsi into wine
Then read tales to his favorite teen
From "Barely Legal" magazine

It's true his face is not at all
The one he had on "Off the Wall"
He dangles kids from balconies
And left his wives for chimpanzees

It's clearly whacked, this life he has
And all that stuff should chill ya
But nothing's quite as creepy as
The fear of PEDOPHILIA!

© 2005+
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