Thanks, but that's not what I meant.

Parody of Daniel Powter's "Bad Day"

M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Robert Lund: Vocals, instruments and production

  • Get it on the CD Presents The Best of Robert Lund
  • Nine weeks on the Dr. Demento Show! Request it again!

    Where are my guts when I need 'em the most?
    A bee stung my arm and I'm white as a ghost
    I scraped up my knee; I'm such a klutz
    And nothing hurts more than paper cuts
    But Band-Aids always fix them all

    I played with your thresher down on the farm
    It caught on my sleeve and it tore off my arm
    You told me your pit bulls were polite
    You told me your gators didn't bite
    But oops they chewed my kneecaps off

    Do you have a Band-Aid?
    It's just what I need
    To patch up these spots
    Where my bullet holes bleed
    And one for each cheek
    I caught on barbed wire
    And third-degree burns
    From my hair catching fire
    I need a Band-Aid
    I'm sure it will heal
    My leg that got crushed
    By your automobile
    I caught a grenade:

    I need a Band-Aid

    The trick is to clench your teeth and grin
    I might need a couple aspirin
    And maybe rubbing alcohol

    D'ya have a Band-Aid?
    To put on this scratch
    I sat on a mine
    And my butt came detached
    My parachute broke
    I crashed on my back
    My liver popped out
    And I can't put it back
    I need a Band-Aid
    To stick to this place
    Where hammerhead sharks
    Came and bit off my face
    I need a Band-Aid

    Sometimes you're faced with life's little scrapes
    Or a slight dermal injury
    When I get booboos, I smile and sing
    I'm stuck on Band-Aids, 'cause you see
    They're stuck on me

    So where are my guts when I need 'em the most?
    (Oh, where'd they go?)
    They all got poked out; I'm impaled on a post

    Do you have a Band-Aid?
    The anti-germ kind?
    To stick on these limbs
    That I'm leaving behind
    I might need one more
    I just realized
    Those alien squids
    Must have sucked out my eyes
    I need a Band-Aid
    To unbreak my spine
    My head just fell off
    One more time
    But I'll be okay:

    You have a Band-Aid

    © 2006+ Spaff, LLC