Spaff.com - "You Made Me Drive" (parody of Billy Joel's "You May Be Right")

(AP)

"Citroen" is Dutch for "lemon."

YOU MADE ME DRIVE (Ode to Billy Joel)
Parody of Billy Joel's "You May Be Right"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

[Sound of windshield breaking]

Friday night I crashed the Rover
Saturday the Benz rolled over
Sunday came I lost control again
I was only out for food
Swear I wasn’t drinking, dude
When I smashed my ’67 Ci-tro-en

Well you sent me into town alone
I hit some dumb old lady’s home
But it looked like Little Caesars in the rain
She was gone when I arrived
So at least the broad’s alive
And her kitchen’s finally got a drive-through la-a-ane

You made me drive
I made the papers
(Oh!) But it just ain’t quite the news report I’m looking for
Don’t call Life Flight
That scares the neighbors
I made a wrong turn off the road
’Cause you made me drive

Well – Remember when I hit that tree?
I swear the thing jumped out at me
And driving up that wall was ill-advised
It’s not true that I was blitzed
I did rehab just for kicks
All the same I’m glad I don’t get breathalyzed

(Now) It torques me off that Christie Brinkley
Tells the press she doesn’t think me
Competent to even steer a train
She was always hard to please
Wish I’d married Cheryl Tiegs
And I’d written “Uptown Girl” for someone sa-a-ane

You made me drive
I make roads scary
(D’oh!) But a crash may be the boost my sales are looking for
(‘Cause) Things sure turned bright
(Mmm) For Halle Berry
They’re making jokes, oh god I know
‘Cause you made me drive

[Repeat whatever. The public won’t remember anyway.]

They’re making fun ‘cause you made me drive…
They’re making fun ‘cause you made me drive…