I GOT CRABS FROM DARTH VADER
Parody of Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places"

PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Robert Lund: Vocals, instruments and production

"Blame it all on Artoo"
Said the girl from Naboo
"'Cause I followed him into that bar
A couple of drinks
And soon Jar Jar Binks
Was the best thing 'bout Star Wars so far

"I had blue milk and Jack
With this guy dressed in black
He was strong, dark, and seven-foot-three
But when I went home with
The Lord of the Sith
That's not all that went home with me!

"'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
But now I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda never played with his light saber!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!"

She said, "I got a butt
Like Jabba the Hutt
But Darth said he'd love to clone me
He's not bad at nookie -
He roared like a Wookiee
Through episodes one, two, and three

"But at double-sunrise
He grabbed his disguise
And dumped me in Tatooine's sand
Hope that freak went to bake
In that big lava lake
That's my last one-Jedi-Knight stand!

"'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When I got too close to that dictator
He said, I'll get you
And Lei-ya too
I love that sound from his respirator
But now I need an exterminator!
'Cause I got crabs
From Darth Vader!"

All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along:

I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
But now I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda never played with his light saber!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!

© 2005+ Spaff, LLC