Parody of "Nuttin' for Christmas" (Tepper/Bennett)
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Sage Lund and Macy Lund: Children's Vocals
Robert Lund: Everything Else
From the CD Elves Gone Wild!   BUY @ $10.99

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"Hysterical and well-written. In my opinion, much better than the original I sang fifty years ago. Thanks for the giggles!"  - Barry Gordon

I checked my box at AOL
Somebody e-mailed me
A chirpy voice said "You've got mail"
Somebody e-mailed me
But it's all crap from herbal quacks
Tricks for dodging income tax
Russian nymphomaniacs
Somebody e-mailed me

I got a computer for Christmas
Eight zillion M.B. of RAM
But I'm gettin' hostile for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

I don't need loans from offshore banks
Somebody e-mailed me
I've never owned no septic tanks
Somebody e-mailed me
Old Iraq Most Wanted cards
Kinky housewives' warm regards
No-repayment Mastercards
Somebody e-mailed me

Oh, I'm gettin' freaked out for Christmas
How do they know where I am?
I'm gettin' ornery for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

They've got Viagra at half price
Somebody e-mailed me
A voodoo weight control device
Somebody e-mailed me
I don't need hidden camera stuff
Donald Rumsfeld in the buff
My kielbasa's long enough!
Somebody e-mailed me

Oh, I'm gettin' ticked off for Christmas
Free pay-per-view is a scam
And I'm gettin' angry for Christmas
'Cause I'm gettin' nuttin' but spam

So you better back off
Whatever you do
If I track you down I'm warning you
I'll get postal for Christmas!

© 2003+
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Also known as "I'm Getting Nuttin' But Spam," "I'm Getting Nothing But Spam," "I'm Getting Nuthin' But Spam," and/or "I'm Getting Nothin' But Spam," a parody of "I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas," "I'm Getting Nothing for Christmas," "I'm Getting Nuthin' for Christmas," and/or "I'm Getting Nothin' for Christmas." Whew.