[Piano intro]

You know how - Rudolph’s story goes
Born with a phos - phorescent nose
Prancer’s ho - mies call him names
Torch his ass - in reindeer games
But then
Nick’s sleigh - burns out its light
Rudolph’s schnoz - is huge that night
Sure it’s
Sweet but - do you recall
It’s not the way it ends at all

Singin’
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph

[More piano]

Here’s the verse - kids don’t sing
Rudolph’s rage - is worsening
Till he
Loads up - on New Year’s Eve
And orchestrates - a killing spree
There are
Limbs flayed - and antlers stripped
Like some Tarantino script
Even
Tom Ridge - makes the scene
It’s Terror Level Red and Green

Singin’
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph

[Even more piano]

Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph

And nothing decks the halls
Like deer heads on the walls
A tree with sixteen balls

[Again with the piano?!]

Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph

North - Pole’s -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North - Pole’s -
Just a burnt lump of coal

North - Ru-oo-oo-oo - Pole’s -
Just a burnt lump of coal - Dolph
North - Ru-oo-oo-oo - Pole’s -
Just a burnt lump of coal - Dolph

[Last time with the #$%@ piano]

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