A FEW OF MY RESOLUTIONS
Parody of "My Favorite Things"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
From the CD Elves Gone Wild!   BUY @ $10.99

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Give to the homeless and love all my neighbors
Don't blow my paychecks at 31 Flavors
Pay down my credit cards, Firm up my buns
These are a few of my resolu-tions

Set free the neighborhood pets from my attic
Don't look for boobs in the Spice Channel static
Start wearing underpants, Stop sniffing glue
These are the things I'm resolving to do

Send Get Well cards to the girls that I've dated
Pose in my G-string in Sports Illustrated
Kick butt in Bunco and Bingo and golf
These are the things that I hereby resolf

Braid my nose hair
Streak through Times Square
Add an inch - or more
And if I don't get this all done the first day
I've still got three-sixty-four!

Now sing along, you little rugrats, or I'm taking you to Neverland Ranch!

Stop mixing Prozac, Viagra, and Midol
Sing The Thong Song on American Idol
Find a new soulmate I don't tip with ones
These are a few of my resolutions

Grope Mrs. Clinton or Bryant or Shriver
Show skin on Jackass and Cops and Survivor
Burn off my life-size Rush Limbaugh tattoo
These are the things I'm resolving to do

Marry J. Lo
Join a freak show
Whack a Mouseketeer
And if I give up by the end of this month
I'll try it again next year!

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