Spaff.com "Flushin' Out the Queen of Hearts" Parody of Juice Newton's "Queen of Hearts"

FLUSHIN' OUT THE QUEEN OF HEARTS
Parody of Juice Newton's "Queen of Hearts"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Baghdad
And I'm a-shufflin' through Republican Guards
Lookin' for the faces that'll match the aces on these cards
Too bad
How the clubs got torn apart
So we built ourselves a Hooters where we watch for looters dealin' art

Flushin' out the queen of hearts
From Nasiriyah's Kwik-E-Marts
We'll beat the old Iraqi straights
And discard 'em with the crazy eights

We already took Tariq Aziz
And probably some twos and threes
But to complete this flush we need
Barzan Abd al-Ghafur Sulayman Majid

It's wacky
How the game was such a blur
But with a hit and hit and hit and hit you knew they'd finally bust for sure
The Iraqi
Information Minister
Bluffin' every hand of poker, he's the biggest joker of that war

Flushin' out the queen of hearts
Hopin' he's contracted SARS
We'll lock him up with Mrs. Anthrax
The old maid among the one-eyed jacks

Fishin' out the king of spades
From the rubble of our bombing raids
The Kurds ante up with glee
'Cause we decked Chemical Ali

Don't ask us
Exactly when we plan to leave
We won't get up from the table till you prove you're able to play fair
Damascus
Whatcha hidin' up your sleeve?
Me and Bill Bennett have a wager that you've got some major cardsharps there

Flushin' out the queen of hearts
Or at least a couple of his parts
From the Baath houses and debris
Where they dealt W.M.D.

Saddam's the card we wanna find
He and his sons are three of a kind
But I'll bet their house is full
With three aces in the hole