Spaff.com "Hockey Fan" Parody of Elton John's "Rocket Man"

HOCKEY FAN
Parody of Elton John's "Rocket Man"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

They're set to melt the ice - tonight
Even Gretzky's - talks got stuck
Kiss the season good-bi-iii-hye
They don't GIVE a puck

I'll miss the Cup so much
I miss the fights
I miss the octopi
On all those mi-iii-indless nights

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till both sides PULL their heads from their be-hinds
I'm not a man who likes when rich guys moan
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Burned because my '05 season's gone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until Oc- tober comes I'll lose my mind
I'm not a man who spends his nights at home
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stuck with figure skating - all alone

Bars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
But home is dull as hell
Wish I hadn't shot - our - TV
But I did

And no, this lockout - I don't understand
So I get drunk five days a week
A hockey fa-a-aaa-han
Hockey fan

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdowns mean a thing or baseball's fine
I'm not a man who's got a roundball bone
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stuck with Disney-on-Ice - all alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Until we're through with hearing grown men whine
I'm not a man who cares when athletes groan
Oh no no no
I'm a hockey fan

Hockey fan!
Stick-check Gary Bettman's neutral zone!

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And I think it's gonna be a long long time
And I think I'm gonna be a locked-out guy
And I think I'm gonna be a LOCKED-out guy
And I think they're makin' me a LOCKED-out guy
And I think they're makin' me a LOCKED-out guy...