You catch me in the bedroom with your sister and a horse
You freak out even though I swear they're here to wax the floors
I say if you've got cramps well please don't take 'em out on me
With that, you grab your clothes and cats and pack the SUV
But find the needle's buried somewhere west-southwest of "E"
You claim you'll ditch my lying cheating alcoholic ass
But girl you'll never leave me 'cause you can't afford the gas
We're out of gas

Fool for gas

You say that global warming's why the market misbehaves
But babe you can't completely blame Katrina and the waves
When OPEC stands for Oily Pricks and Economic Cheats
And Hugo Chavez' cell phone stores the number of the beast
And since you claim that oil is why we sacked the Middle East
Then BUSH MUST MEET ME NOW to say why prices rose so fast
I'd stalk him down to Crawford but I can't afford the gas
There's no more gas

Fool for gas

They say we'll suck Alaska dry so maybe I'm in luck
Hey screw the seals and caribou; I gotta drive my truck
But meanwhile I've built oil rigs in my next-door neighbor's yard
I shield 'em with some pit bulls and an Uzi-wielding guard
I should have asked permission first but hey these times are hard
What keeps my motor spirits high is streaking - oh and grass
The cops don't bother chasing me; they can't afford the gas
What a gas

Fool for gas

They used to scream 'bout shortages but no one even blinked
Now what's left of the dinosaurs is once again extinct
The final drops are like my friends and "Hooters" intertwined:
Delightful in their tackiness, yet also unrefined
But let's keep playing with our pumps; it's worth it to go blind
Besides, the UFO's will come and save our butts at last
I haven't seen 'em lately, though; they must be out of gas
They're out of ga-a-a-as

Fool for gas
Ooh-ooh-ooh...

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