The "Weekly World" - it's your religion
That and tabloid - television
You read the gossip rags - with no derision
You watched the Jackson trial - agreed with their decision
Your lack of skepticism needs - supervision

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!

Yes, I understand - that I'm - kinda obsessed
& Yes, I crave her show - and - watch it undressed
But I swear we're in love - it's a big nookie-fest
And my Housewife confessed - my mad skillz are the best
But I never would have guessed
That YOU'D be unimpressed

And you'd tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!

Yeah, you still believe - there's al-i-en abduction
And Diet Coke - aids - weight reduction
We'll still find Saddam's - wea-pons of mass destruction
Brad and Angelina - ain't tried reproduction
Survivor's a real - unscripted production
Medicinal pot's - worth - a tax deduction
And J. Lo's caboose - ain't had liposuction

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!

Why the heck would YOU - suspect we're not dating?
I've never met someone - so indiscriminating
You claim you still like - fat-free mayonnaise
One gunman could cause - deaths like JFK's
Your drive-a-Hummer craze - don't raise UV rays
You can cure all the gays - including Sean Hayes
You're the last one buying - that alibi of OJ's

Don't tell me
Over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don’t believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!

Um, please please, some-ONE believe
I'm bonkin' Eva Longoria?!

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