Photo credit: Spinning Blue

RE: YOUR SONG ABOUT MY CLIENT DELILAH
Parody of "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's (Tom Higgenson)

PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND
M. Spaff Sumsion: Concept and lyrics
Robert Lund: Vocals, instruments and production

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    Dear Mr. Higgenson:
    It's me, Delilah's lawyer
    I am writing to inform you
    There's a third restraining order
    In effect
    The first two haven't stopped you yet
    She's quite upset

    May I remind you, Tom
    My client doesn't like you
    Yet you keep composing songs for her
    Which means you have the IQ
    Of a brick
    You couldn't "hit that" with a stick
    Please seek help quick

    Oh, we're watching you, you creep
    Oh, we're watching you, you creep
    Oh, we're watching you, you freak
    Oh, it's what we do all week
    All the stupid week

    Do not address Delilah's mother as a MILF
    And please desist from mailing puppy dogs
    And photos of yourself
    In plain white T's
    And next time put some pants on, please
    Nice cottage cheese

    My client's gone in hiding
    Halfway 'cross the nation
    But you evidently stalked her
    To her undisclosed location
    In New York
    You put it in your song, you dork
    We're freaking torqued

    Oh, were watching you, you creep
    Oh, we watch you when you sleep
    Oh, we watch you when you eat
    Oh, we watched you take a leak

    A thousand miles seems pretty far
    But you've used planes and trains and cars
    And pogo sticks and Segways and a horse
    But we've got warrants out for you
    So, Romeo, if you try to
    Go near her, you'll regret the choice, of course
    There's lots of guys who'd gladly pay
    To make your love song go away
    They'll quickly take you down without remorse
    With deadly force

    Dear Mr. Higgenson:
    This isn't 'cause I'm jealous
    That I left the band for law school
    While you got rich with the fellas
    With your song
    Here's why I took this client on:
    Like you, I've wanted her so long
    So it's so nice to sue you, Tom

    P.S. How's Mom?


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