BLACK WATER (BP VERSION)
Parody of the Doobie Brothers' "Black Water"

PERFORMED BY STEVE GOODIE
Concept: M. Spaff Sumsion
Lyrics: M. Spaff Sumsion and Steve Goodie
Fiddle: Tim Lorsch
Guitars, bass, drums, vocals, and production: Steve Goodie

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    Well, I spilled something black when my oil rig exploded
    The whole mess is icky and they say I'm to blame
    Catfish are floatin', all the beaches are closin'
    Black water keeps rollin' ashore, what a shame

    Ol' black water keeps on flowin'
    Fill the Gulf soon, but we'll keep refinin' BP
    Ol' black water keeps on growin'
    Executive goons, we're nickel-and-dimin' BP
    Ol' black water keeps on rollin'
    Up the Mississippi soon, gotta keep on lyin', BP
    Yeah keep on lyin' tonight
    Gotta say anything, shareholders gotta think everything's all right
    And our high-priced attorneys say there ain't no big worries
    At all

    Now, if folks complain, I don't care, don't make no difference to me
    I'll just ask Congress for a sweet ol' bailout
    Yeah, I'm gonna meet some oily bureaucrats who'd like to play along
    And I'll be buyin' all my buddies drinks all 'round

    Ol' black water, beached petroleum
    Fill the Delta soon, we won't be resignin', BP
    Ol' black water reachin' Pensacola
    Environmental loons, they're picket-linin' BP
    Ol' black water up to Minnesota
    Raise the price of crude, that's the silver linin', BP
    And keep on lyin' tonight
    Gotta say anything, tree-huggers gotta think everything's all right
    With the world at our mercy, it's the Gulf of New Jersey

    We're gonna screw up most of Dixieland
    'Less Obama gives a big ol' helping hand
    We need a hand (Out!)
    Got our hand out (Hey Obama!)
    Some cash would be grand, that's all we want

    We tried golf balls, top kills, Costner fans
    But nobody stopped the oil from reaching land
    We tried a dam (Dam!)
    Even cans of Spam (Hey, we're desperate!)
    And we've locked and loaded a nucular bomb

    We're gonna smear some gunk on Dixieland
    Give the brown pelicans a darker tan
    Dixieland (Tan!)
    Give the birds a tan (Instant bronzer!)
    Don'tcha stress about the dolphins 'cause they're all gone

    It's like the Gulf got drunk at Disneyland
    Then vomited all over Loosianne
    Disneyland (Land!)
    Up to Ketchikan (And Sri Lanka!)
    We made Katrina look like a little cold front

    All the shrimp and frogs and fish be damned
    Soccer mama gotta fuel her minivan
    Caravan (Van!)
    Honda minivan (Hockey mama!)
    Gotta drive to the Wal-Mart all day long

    No need to import oil from Pakistan
    When it's lyin' all over the Alabama sand
    Screw Iran (Yeah!)
    And Afghanistan (and Venezuela!)
    We'll just go to the beach and grab tar balls

    We gotta feed the grease monkey on your back
    Everybody better cut us lots of slack
    Cut us slack (Slack!)
    Cut us lots of slack (Hey Obama!)
    Yeah, we knew this might happen all along...


    © 2010+ Steve Goodie & Spaff, LLC