Parody of Thompson Twins' "Hold Me Now"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Chris "Mizzenmast" Mezzolesta: Vocals, ad-libs, and final mixing
Bob "Bobarossa" Emmet: Instruments and music mixing
Play/Download from The Funny Music Project
→ Featured on the Dr. Demento Show! Request it again!

"The Dread Pirate Robert" Lund: Vocals, instruments, and mixing
→ Sample/Download from The Mad Music Archive
→ Featured on the Dr. Demento Show! Request it again!

I have a parrot
Perched on my arm
A peg on my leg and a patch on my eye and hate mail from State Farm
I'm well-versed in English
I went to Purdue
But since I'm a pirate, convention demands that I speak like one too

Blow me down!
Ho, avast ye swabs!
Arrr, matey!
Wench, fetch me grog! Wench, fetch me grog!

I memorize Shakespeare
I peruse Strunk & White
It helps pass the time on the nights I don't plunder and pillage and fight
So perhaps I should speak right
Choose erudite words
But pirates would rather seize wenches and booty than conjugate verbs
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!...

Blow me down!
Aye, ye bilge drinkerr!
Walk yon plank!
Ye scurvy cur! Foul scurvy cur!

You say I need Right Guard
A shower and shave
I'll scuttle yer festerin' gob with me cutlass, ye landlubber knave!
And I'll talk like me hearties!
It's a bounty marr fun!
I'll hoist up me skull and crossbones and keel-haul ya, ye mangy harr son!
Yo-ho! Yo-ho!...

Blow me down! (All ye scallywags'll drown)
Arr, ye bilge drinkerr! (Yer a bilge-rat varmint, sir)
Walk yon plank! (Ye'll swim with Davy Jones!)
Ye scurvy cur! Foul swashbucklerr!

Blow me down! (Arr, shiver me timbers down)
Ho, avast ye swabs! (Arr, avast ye salty dogs)
Arrr, matey! (Arr-harr, ahoy, matey!)
Wench, fetch me grog! Fetch high-proof grog!
[et ceterrrra]

© 2006, 2009+ Spaff, LLC
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