Parody of Billy Joel's "Big Shot"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion

Play/Download from The Funny Music Project
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Well -
You left Georgia riding in your Cherokee
Into Blue Ridge National Park
You stopped for drinks with the bulky brunette
That you met in the dark
Ooh -
But when you wake up in the morning with your hair on fire
And you're tied face-down from a tree
You know it's no urban legend
The same thing happened to me

'Cause she turned out to be a Bigfoot creature
You should have known from how she growled
She's definitely a Bigfoot creature
'Cause your limbs are all yanked out
You had to stay till last call last night
That will teach you to get plowed
You thought you'd met a tall babe - not quite
You hooked up with a Bigfoot last night
Oh no!

So -
You went chasing tail on the Blue Ridge Trail
'Cause the women seemed aggressively game
Like the Chattahoochee mama with fangs
Who just grunted her name
Ooh -
But now you just don't remember all the things she did
And you ask why it hurts when you cough
I'll give you one hint, buddy
Your Jeep ain't all she ripped off

No no no no no no you didn't believe in Bigfoot, didja?
She seemed abominably endowed
Undoubtedly a Bigfoot creature
Her perfume was Rainbow Trout
You almost had your last rites last night
Got Sasquashed into the ground
You're covered with a rug burn - shag type
You hooked up with a Bigfoot last night
Oh no!

So, baby, have you ever considered laser hair removal?
Or there's always waxing.
Or you know, you could always just borrow my razor....

© 2005, 2008+Spaff, LLC
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