Hey there al-Qaida
Can I stage this intervention?
Are there reasons for your anger
That you're too ashamed to mention?
I hurt too
But acting out will not help you
Let's talk it through

Hey there al-Qaida
Growing up did bullies shove you?
Do your fears that you're unwanted
Or your mothers didn't love you
Make you scream?
Like you I tend to go extreme
I snarf ice cream

Oh - What you need's a shrink
Oh - It's what would help I think
Oh - What you need's a shrink
Oh - It's what helps me not drink

Repressed inferiority
Obsessive personalities
Are signs your inner children beg for hugs
Explosive vests may indicate
A latent self-destructive trait
But nowadays there's great prescription drugs
Al-Qaida, someday you can be
Productive in society
'Cause even sociopaths can learn to chill
Ask Dr. Phil

Hey there al-Qaida
Social workers make good listeners
They can help with sublimation
Like instead of seizing prisoners
Seize the day
Let's hug your fear and hate away
You could even love the USA
Hey there al-Qaida, heal today
You'll be OK

Oh - What you need's a shrink
Oh - To get you back in sync
Oh - To fix the way you think
Oh - What you need's a shrink

Spelunking makes you stink

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